Monday, March 31, 2014

Wait It Out

Man, tomorrow will be 3 weeks since my papers have been submitted to Salt Lake, and waiting doesn't get any easier! But I know my call will come just when it is supposed to, in God's timing, not my own.

I find it so hard to keep that good attitude while waiting, especially for my mission call! But I know it will come, I know your call will come! Slowly but surely, sisters! Just keep smiling! :D 

 Just think, how important is a call to serve the Lord full-time? VERY! EXTREMELY! There aren't too many things more important as this assignment at this time in our life. WE CAN DO THIS! 

Lets be honest...WAITING SUCKS. BIG TIME. But it is for the most wonderful cause in the world! (one of the many) But as we practice patience, we are developing an attribute of our savior, Jesus Christ.

I am sure that I am not the only one making this face while we wait...
as Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens would say "We're all in this together"

Try to stay composed while waiting sisters, lets show the world the grace which each of us have! 

--Sister Wagner

Sunday, March 30, 2014

feast upon the words: food for thought

I decided that a new post was long over due! I was studying my scriptures the other day when I came across 2 Nephi chapter 5 verses 18-19 They read: 

 18 And it came to pass that they would that I should be their king. But I, Nephi, was desirous that they should have no king; nevertheless, I did for them according to that which was in my power.
 19 And behold, the words of the Lord had been fulfilled unto my brethren, which he spake concerning them, that I should be their ruler and their teacher. Wherefore, I had been their ruler and their teacher, according to the commandments of the Lord, until the time they sought to take away my life.
I didn't think much of these verses at first, but as I reread them I realized something that has stuck with me and is always on my mind now. 
Nephi didn't want power, he didn't want to be their king at all, he just wanted them to all be happy together without one person having say over all the others. Heavenly Father wanted Nephi to be their ruler, not because he wanted Nephi to be the "BIG MAN" to yell and demand they bow to him, but he wanted Nephi to be their ruler so that he could teach them and guide them. And if he was in the position of ruler he could effectively teach his people the commandments of the Lord. 
I thought this was such an interesting concept. How often do we want to be the leader so we can really have say of what can or can't happen? How often do we want a bit of power? I know for me, I like to have that little sense of control at times, and I am sure we all do because that is just natural! But instead of wanting to lead so we can control and say what's what, we should want to be leaders so we can TEACH, so we can GUIDE, so we can UPLIFT.
As missionaries we will be leaders. Let us all make sure that we don't fall into Satan's trap of wanting power and glory, but instead be humble leaders willing to learn as we go and teach with the spirit and guide others into the light that comes with the gospel.
-- Sister Wagner

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Decisions, Decisions

Going on a mission is obviously not an easy decision to make. It is HARD and stressful and there is a lot to consider. Like school, things you will miss when you are away, and all the things that you will be giving up. It isn't a decision to jump into, especially for sisters. We don't have the obligation to go but instead simply encouraged to ponder and pray about it. The easiest way to do this post is a timeline..

all my life--- to--December 2012- NO DESIRE TO SERVE AT ALL.

Now at this time, the age change was already made and I didn't think anything of it. I had never wanted to serve a mission, but I knew..well thought I knew that a mission was absolutely no way for me. At this time I was actually getting ready to send my best friend off on his mission. He had just gotten his mission call and I was super excited for him and I knew the importance of a mission! But It just "wasn't for me."

January 2013

One night I was talking to my best friend and he asked me specifically one day on the phone.."Hey, Taylor, Have you ever thought about going on a mission." And now here I am...And how do I react. MAD. I was so ticked off, I got super defensive so quickly. WHY IN THE WORLD WAS HE EVEN BOTHERING TO ASK ME THAT QUESTION!? I was fine just the way I was, I didn't need the spiritual strength that would come from a mission. And I told him quite sassily, "unless it mentions something in my patriarchal blessing about going on a mission I am not gonna think about it. Because if it is in my blessing, then it is in the plans for me." I was 17 at the time and would have a whole year and 3 months before I would even start my papers.

Guess who heard that little remark? Heavenly Father. About a week later I got my patriarchal blessing. It didn't say straight up "you will serve a full time mission" but instead said just enough to get me to have to seriously consider if it was something I had to do. So I got praying, and I got thinking. I had gotten a subtle answer that a mission would be a good idea, but I wasn't completely sure, or maybe I just didn't want to accept what I already knew was my answer.

March 2013

My best friend left for his mission. At this point I was ready to serve, because the Lord was pushing me out there and I was really starting to feel that I should go, but I didn't really want to..yet. I figured Heavenly Father had answered my prayers in subtle ways. You should all know that I am not that easy to convince. I told the my friend I was gonna go on a mission most likely and he was thrilled. But I wasn't satisfied with the subtleness of my answer, I wanted a big slap in the face! I kept waiting. because after all..I still had a year before I could even start my papers... I wanted to be sure.

April 2013--General Conference

Being a member in an inactive/nonmember home, I sat watching conference on my laptop. TWIST. Conference had ended. And I was watching the commercials that play afterward. What happened to play? It was a rerun of the october conference which President Monson changed the age.

You should know that I hadn't watched it the first time, people has just told me it happened.

So I was there sitting on my bed watching this rerun of the age change and the moment he announced the age change for women I was in tears. Sitting in my room just bawling my eyes out and feeling completely pathetic for crying at my laptop. ....90%

I began to talk about it and tell people about my decision to serve and everyone was so supportive of me. This one woman that was a new member came up to me once I had started to talking about it and she told me "I know that we don't talk much and I don't really know you, but I really feel like I should tell you that the first moment I met you, I knew right away that you would be involved in missionary work, I went home and told my husband, you can even ask him. If you ever question your decision to serve, don't." Um WOAH. What do you even say to that!? I was so shocked and so humbled by her comment, when she said it my heart was filled and I was so ready to go out and serve!...95%

May 2013

Once I began talking about my choice to serve, and a few people came and told me that we were getting sister missionaries in our ward!

Living in Maine, we are not over flowing with missionaries, let alone sister missionaries!...But the moment my choice to serve comes up, sister missionaries get placed in MY ward?...Talk about the Lord's timing!.....100%!!!! And I would now have people here to prepare me, specifically me. I knew the Lord gave them right to me as him saying "Get ready, sister, cause you are going, and you will be prepared." You would think that would be it. That I would then be 100% content with my answer. NOPE. Not me. I wasn't okay with that. I was only...97% 

Even though I was mostly sure, I wasn't completely. But I went out with the missionaries and had an amazing time with them, and loved bearing my testimony and sharing what I know to be true, but I still wasn't 100% sure..Ya I know, Im realllllllly stubborn. I am kicking myself now because of how I stubborn I was when really the Lord was being SO obvious with his answer of what I was supposed to do.

August 2013-- The final push

The night before a fast sunday, I was praying to know if I should serve. The moment I stood up from my knees, Alma 17:3 came to my mind, I went straight to my scriptures because I wasn't familiar with what it said at all... But I opened to it and read:

But this is not all; they had given themselves to much prayer, and fasting; therefore they had the spirit of prophecy, and the spirit of revelation, and when they taught, they taught with power and authority of God.

How strange, I knew that meant, "Well, Taylor,  you have prayed, but um, have you fasted? Because that is when I will teach you."

So the next day I opened my fast and I asked my Heavenly Father about my decision to serve, what it really right for me?

The moment I closed my fast, the moment I stood up, I just knew. I felt a comfort and excited feeling come over me and I just new it was my time to serve, it my my time to get myself prepared, because I WAS GOING ON A MISSION!! 100%!


It only took months for the Lord to convince me, but I am mighty glad he did because I am more than excited about it! and as discouraging as it was to wait a whole year to start my papers, it just allowed my excitement to grow and my testimony to strengthen and for me to really prepare myself. I am now 115% sure that mission is exactly what I need to be doing right now. I refuse to believe that any of these occurrences were coincidence. I know that my Heavenly Father knew what I needed and when I needed it because he knows me better than anyone.

I know that this church is true, from the very bottom of my heart, and with every fiber of my being. I know without a shadow of a doubt that there is nothing better for me to be doing at this time than serving my Lord, our Lord, full-time. It will be anything but easy, but it will be more than worth it. I am so blessed to have this gospel in my life, and for the atonement of Christ, the least I can do is share that knowledge with my brothers and sisters who are lost in darkness.

If you haven't made up your mind to serve, just be patient and listen to our Father in Heaven because I can promise you, He will let you know what you need to do in his timing and in just the manner that you need to hear it. Personal revelation is real. You can receive it, all you need to do is humbly ask and the Lord will open the windows of heaven and provide you with the answers that you long for. He will convince you if you need convincing if a mission is for you, true story.

-- Sister Wagner

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Just waiting my life away

To explain my title of my blog...It is currently "A Sister in Waiting" because of the fact for the past...

1 week. 4 days. and 3 hours. 

I have been waiting patiently for my call to be assigned and sent. Now when I say patiently it has been me anxiously checking every day trying to see if I am able to login and NO DICE. I wouldn't exactly call that patient as much as trying to accept the Lord's timing because after all his timing is perfect and I trust it whole heartedly..BUT MAN THIS IS THE WORST!

It is a constant battle of me telling myself.. "Just Breathe Taylor...JUST BREATHE" My mom would be oh so proud because after all, that is her saying! I have been praying with all of my heart that it will come when it needs to and that I will be able to survive the wait, and as crippling as the wait may be..I am alive.

SO for you fellow call waiters, I hope you can relate to some of these points I'm about to make...and for all you sisters who will be submitting your papers to your Stake President and having those interviews soon! Here is what you can expect!

1. You finish your meeting with stake president and it went better than ever, and so you beam down the hall of the church, and just want to tell everyone that you are OFFICIALLY WAITING FOR YOUR CALL.

2. You start making everyone guess where you will go. And when I say everyone I mean even people that you work with who have no idea really what a mission is, and the random people that sit by you in your college classes..(who aren't even LDS)

3. You attempt to log in to myldsmail and when it takes a little longer to load up the "box of shame" (the box which says you are not eligible for account yet) you have a little panic attack and then when it finally pops up your heart is racing for nothing.

4. It has become a night time ritual to lay in bed at night thinking of what that beloved letter from the Prophet will say.

5. You look at the picture you sent to Salt Lake thinking of what revelation the apostle seeing your papers will receive.

6. You get excited thinking about the day YOU will be able to post your call on "Many are called...but few are sisters."

7. You want to shop for your mission but you know you can't because there is a big difference between Alaska's weather and Australia's... and you have no idea where you'll end up.

I love all you sisters! We can get through this wait together!

I will be posting about my decision to serve this coming week, STAY TUNED :)

-- Sister Wagner

Me... A mission blogger...SAY WHAT?

I caved. I am now a part of the blog world...I only hope I can keep this up...and really become an avid blogger.

 First..a couple disclaimers...a couple as in a literal in TWO.

1. My grammar is awful.

Im the kid with lots of circles on their paper and teacher telling them to PROFF READ...but let's be serious... ain't nobody got time fo dat.

2. I think I am funnier than I actually am.

I laugh at myself and think I am really clever...while in the mean time others are looking at me bug eyed as I laugh at my so-called-wit and repeat my so-called-clever remarks to others who unfortunately didn't hear the first time...

So here I am. A part of the LDS Sister Missionary bloggers. Not going to lie, this was not in my plans and I totally thought it was a silly idea..I felt like I would be talking to myself, BUT IM GOING FOR IT. Who knows if it will even help anyone else besides myself but I might as well give it a go..

I am going to TRY to make all my posts a spicy read, so I can become the 6th spice girl, ANNDDD so you all won't want to poke your eyes out.

I don't even like reading..and if you don't either... I am gonna make this worth your while.


-- Sister Wagner